If you’re pregnant and considering adoption, you may have questions about what life could look like after placement. Will you receive pictures and updates? Can you visit your child? Will you be able to stay connected with the adoptive family?
These are important questions, and there is no single answer that is right for everyone.
When creating an adoption plan, you can talk about the level of communication and contact you feel comfortable with. You may hear the terms open adoption, semi-open adoption, and closed adoption. Each offers a different level of connection between a birth family and an adoptive family.
What Is an Open Adoption?
An open adoption allows for ongoing communication between the birth family and adoptive family after placement. Depending on the adoption plan, this may also include an ongoing relationship with the child as he or she grows.
Every open adoption is different. Contact may include pictures and updates, phone calls, text messages, emails, social media communication, or in-person visits.
Open adoption can also give you opportunities to share family traditions, medical information, stories, photographs, and other parts of your family history with your child over time.
For some birth mothers, knowing they can remain connected to their child and the adoptive family can provide comfort and reassurance.
It’s also important to understand that open adoption does not mean sharing parenting responsibilities. After the adoption is finalized, the adoptive parents are responsible for raising and parenting the child. Openness refers to the relationship and communication that continues between the birth family and adoptive family.
The amount of contact can be discussed as part of your adoption plan so everyone has a clear understanding of expectations.
What Is a Semi-Open Adoption?
A semi-open adoption offers some continued communication while creating additional boundaries between the birth family and adoptive family.
Depending on the arrangement, this may include pictures, letters, emails, text messages, phone calls, or other updates. Communication may also take place through the adoption agency rather than directly between the birth mother and adoptive family.
For some women, semi-open adoption feels like a comfortable middle ground. You may want to know how your child is doing and receive updates as he or she grows while preferring less direct communication or fewer in-person visits.
There is flexibility in what a semi-open adoption can look like, and your adoption counselor can help you talk through the type of contact you may feel comfortable with.
What Is a Closed Adoption?
In a closed adoption, there is generally no ongoing direct communication between the birth family and adoptive family after placement.
Some women may prefer a closed adoption because they want greater privacy or feel that ongoing communication may be emotionally difficult for them.
Choosing a closed adoption does not mean you care about or love your child any less. Every woman’s circumstances, emotions, and needs are different.
Even when there is no ongoing contact, important medical, social, and family history may still be shared as part of the adoption process so the adoptive family has information that may be important for the child.
Which Type of Adoption Is Right for You?
There is no one type of adoption that is right for every woman.
Start by thinking about the kind of relationship you may want after placement.
Would you like to receive pictures and updates? Would you like to communicate directly with the adoptive family? Would you want occasional visits? Would you prefer communication to go through the adoption agency? Or would you feel more comfortable having no ongoing contact?
You may also want to think about what you hope your child will know about you and your family as he or she grows. You might want your child to know your story, family history, medical background, traditions, or the reasons behind the decisions you made.
You do not have to know exactly what you want right away. These are conversations you can have while you learn more about your options and create an adoption plan that reflects your wishes.
You Don’t Have to Make This Decision Alone
Learning about open, semi-open, and closed adoption is one part of understanding your options.
An open adoption may include ongoing communication and visits. A semi-open adoption may provide pictures, updates, and communication with additional boundaries. A closed adoption generally involves no ongoing direct contact after placement.
Most importantly, you have a voice in your adoption plan.
You should never feel pressured to place your baby for adoption or to parent. You deserve honest information, compassionate support, and the opportunity to take the time you need to consider what feels right for you and your child.
At Heartfelt Adoptions, our experienced adoption counselors are available to listen without judgment, answer your questions, and explain your options.
If you’re considering adoption, reaching out does not commit you to making an adoption plan. You can simply talk with someone, ask questions, and learn more about the choices available to you.